Thai Food - From n00b to l33t

Asian food is wildly popular throughout the world. Thai food is exceptionally popular, and this little denubification is for westerners who may be able to use a few pointers with regards to this oh so exotic cuisine.

- Thais use fork and spoon to eat everything except for noodle soup. If and when you ask for chopsticks instead of fork and spoon to go with your kao putt, or fried rice, you're not looking cultured, you're looking like a total gnoblin. Why would you make eating something more difficult for yourself anyway?
- Phad/pad Thai - is Thailand's signature dish plain and simple. It's authentic, and everyone loves it. But in case you do want to come off as not so uncultured while ordering at a Thai restaurant, pronounce it as "putt" like in golf. I believe the first dubbers intended pahd, but please, for your sake and Thais' don't say "pad Thai," and definitely don't say "fad Thai."
     > The Thai language has 44 consonants and 30 vowels causing some to literally get lost in translation.
- Stars. It seems like this is something most Asian cuisines have adopted in order to gauge degrees of spice.
     > Dao is Thai for star; 1 = neung; 2 = song; 3 = sahm; 4 = see, and 5, well if you dare go five, the word is ha*

Phad Grapao - Ground pork w/holy basil stir fry - ez 2 make even 4 n00bz

*Fun fact: because 5 is pronounced ha in Thai, Thai texters and l33t haxorz commonly type 555 to denote "hahaha" or "lol" in l33tspeak

If you don't know what l33t, 1337, or LEET means and haven't googled it by now, then you may just be a lost cause nubzor.